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Baby Died stillborn at 24 weeks why me ?

Baby Died stillborn at 24 weeks why did it have to happen to me ?

baby died stillborn
spring background with on a background of blue sky

I say again my baby died but no one is listening to me. My friends avoid me in the street. or they cross over the road. Do they blame me is that why they shun me now ? Even some of my family want me to get over it and move on. Why wont they listen to me my baby has gone forever it wasn’t my fault. He was still my baby. How can I move on my life feels like its ended. I feel like I breathe in but don’t breathe out again.

stillborn but still born

My baby was stillborn at 24 weeks. he was perfectly formed. In short he looked just like his daddy. Yet he had long fingers just like me. I want to speak his name he did exist. he was still born he wasn’t a bunch of cells. I want to shout out his name to the trees. To the clouds passing bye and hope a feather falls down. Just to show me he’s still close by.

baby died 24 weeks stillborn
Studio portrait of a ten day old newborn baby boy wearing pajama bottoms and a sleeping cap. He is sleeping on a moon shaped posing prop and holding a Teddy Bear.

Why did it have to be me that my baby died

Why did it have to be me that it happened to. I don’t wish it on anyone else. but Why me ? I did everything right didn’t smoke didn’t drink. Regularly ate good meals and exercised in moderation walking the dog every day.

There’s just some things that happen that we never really find out why ? and that’s me. I’ve been told to join some support groups but that’s not me. My husband barely talks to me now I can t understand. He’s gone back to work without battering an eyelid. yet I cry myself to sleep at night . Holding the only teddy we bought for him . I couldn’t let him take it with him on his journey to the stars. I needed something left behind of him does that seem mean ?

Its been 6 months since my baby died. My mums been great keeps asking me go keep fit with her but im not ready for anything just yet. I walk my dog once a day and that’s enough. smile at people as they pass me by with their own dogs . But not pregnant women. I freeze and change direction . I get so jealous and angry all the time. Its so unfair why did it have to be me.

reasons babies die

I started to look on google for answers. likewise truths and myths but not a reason why I lost my baby. reasons why babies die. I found out all sorts from placenta issues, cord problems incompetent cervix infections. if you read too much you think you’ve got cancer. sadly Ill just have to accept the fact we may never know.

Will I have more children in the future who can tell Its enough just to get up each day . To find a reason to get up. My Husband has booked us a nice 2 day break soon. lets hope it gets better soon. and to find closure after my son died.

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